Night after night, i just stayed up lying awake in my bed. everything just rushes through my mind. mostly are of regrets, decisions and problems. Night is the only time where it all happens, it also happens sometimes during the day. I just couldnt control those emotions. There are somethings that i wish i could do or say if up front towards that someone but i know that it is impossible. Impossible cause i know that they wouldnt understand neither do they want to hear it. I got friends that i could talk to and pour my heart out but i know they would quite understand how i feel as well as i still feel the same after that.
Having all these floating in my head all day long have sometimes makes me feel suicidal but non the less I still love myself. so dont worry about me being suicidal, i'm not that daring either =D When i think about things throughly and plan to do what i have decided, i'll just do it and then maybe regret sometime later. it always happens but thank God, there's always a way to fix them.
i guess.. life is just not perfect. We just have to go through problems to learn a lesson or to know whats wrong and whats right. to me i think problems are also a way for God in molding us like how a potter moulds clay. we are the clay and God is out potter. it all makes sense.

Just recently, me and my friends have just lost one of our dearest friend.
William
he was involved in an accident in pahang. while on his way back from a camping trip. How it happened? we all have no idea cause there were many stories told about the accident. The only person who truly knows, is the driver who happened to be one of the high rank officer. the officer had managed to escaped the accident with mothing much then just minor scratches but was earlier on rumored to be in a very bad condition in the hospital. no one knows which hospital. later on the last day of the funeral, he showed up, looking good. why it was said that he was badly injured could be due to many reasons. i dont think anyone would want to be alive after a car accident where he survives and his other fellow friends in the same car parish. Everyone will just put the blame on him plus the amount of guilt he has to bare for quite sometime.

i can say much about william cause i didnt really knew him that well but i know that i knew him well enough to tell you that he's a great guy. He has really cared for all his buddies, who he calls as brothers, with love. They have looked up to him for help and advice, and he has given them those when they needed them. He's just cheerful and funny at the same time. Just someone who could cheer someone who feels as low as hell to be happy again. So far, he is the only person that i have seen with so many friends. His friends just keeps coming and coming none stop to pay respect to his funeral. Everyone loved him and we still do. There is not a day where anyone could forget him.

I still remember on the first day of school when he joined Sri Sempurna, he used everything that had the colour pink in them. He carries a pink bandana, pink bag, pink pencilcase, white shoes that had pink linings in them and a pink bracelet. He was the first guy that i have every known that loved the colour pink so much and neither is he afraid to show it. At first i thought that william was just another lala who just wants attention but the more i knew him the more it changed my mind set. He wasnt one but rather pink was just his trade mark and he dared to be different and stand out in front of the crowd without the need to pretend to be someone else but just be himself. He is great being himself, there's nothing to hide.

the is no one who could replace him. he's just one of a kind. In memories of William, i dedicate this song to him.

Labels: friends, my problem, my surroundings

compare all three of them



just try to watch the whole of this video.LOL. its frigging funny

Labels: my surroundings, shocking findings

ah .ok mother's day today man!
hope non of you had forgotten that
if you did..well then you'r eveul..hah!
wanted to take mum to go get her feet tickled but the fish spa was sadly packed..darrnn
so we passed and head on to beard papa.
well as least the money spent for the spa had used..lol
after a long time eye-ing that shop, we FINALLY got to try it.hahaha
the fondent(chocolate cupcake with chocolate fudge on the inside.mmm) it was gooood coz its chocolate and it wasnt too sweet.
and i tell you.. the cream puffs are just delicious but my mum just said
its not bad but i cna make a better one them then'
i shall keep hoping that i can try her's one day.=P

after that.. we walked around and shopped

becca thinks no! cannot spent money today..
must nottt....
ok i will not buy anything
-after walking pass by miss sixty-
OMG nice boots!!
-an hour later-
yay!!! i got booots!!
-__-" there goes the idea of saving money



Day 2: becca has to seriously start working

Labels: my surroundings, speak

playing pool
someone told me it was addictive and i didnt believe him until i tried playing that game myself
and so yeah i gotta admit ..
its is addictive
well as the saying goes 'you'll never know till you try' =D

yeah so was out the whole day yesterday
and i went to church! =P
so pround of myself.lol

i watched ironman too..
it wa frigging 3hours man
its was just so high tech and like wow~
till you dont it so wow anymore
if you get what i mean.hah!

can whoring after the oh-so-long movie.haha.



this was after the movie. had the urge to EAT something!..ahaha ( i will have my moments alone =P)

also went to the car showcase or something
all the modified cars and models
the models there are so so
cant say their very pretty thought
coz their makeup is just too heavy

as for the cars.. there's only 1 i liked
and one more i liked ok. i'll show you soon

S-EXY..! woo!!


and these are the rest of them (the ok ones better then the others)

oh do you see the square car on the top right?? its squarer then a Juara(malaysian car) man.lol

and i thought juare was sqare enough.haha



see! told you i had my moment.HAha!

becca has been spending lots of money on the first week of holiday
so she shall have to start working soon to survive in this money spending world
Boo~
anyone wanna ask her out better do it soon
before she starts being busy with earning money
haha~

Labels: my surroundings, outings